The he said , she said section

VIPR PWR

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10) He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?

9) She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.

8) He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.

7) He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king'
She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen.'

6) On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it: "I do not."

5) He said... "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."

4) Priest said... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.'
She said...'Who's gonna look?'

3) He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

2) He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the Hallway light on.


and the number 1 "He said...She said"..

1) He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would, but you're never there.

 
50 Rules For Women


This is a list of rules that guys wished women knew...

1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

3. Don't make us guess.

4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."

7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

8. Dogs are better than cats.

9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.

11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

12. You have enough clothes.

13. You have too many shoes.

14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

15. Your brother is an idiot.

16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

17. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

18. Share the bathroom

19. Share the closet.

20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

22. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning.

23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

24. Check your oil.

25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

27. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

29. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

32. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.

34. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

35. Don't make 50 rules when 35 will do
 
I had always heard it was....

He said, l.......................l

She thought, l................l

But it was, l........l

Too fkn funny.


Bill.
 

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