Funny joke

Skypilot68

Skypilot68

Full Access Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
1,494
Reaction score
98
Location
Pacific NW
My Wife is Missing

A husband went to the sheriff's department to report that his wife was missing:

Husband: - My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant : - What is her height?

Husband: - Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five feet tall.

Sergeant: - Weight?

Husband: - Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: - Color of eyes?

Husband: - Never noticed. Blue, I think.

Sergeant : - Color of hair?

Husband: - Changes a couple times a year . ... . maybe reddish.

Sergeant: - What was she wearing?

Husband: - Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.

Sergeant: - What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: - She went in my truck.

Sergeant: - What kind of truck was it?

Husband: - Brand new 2014 Ford F150 King Ranch 4 X4 with Eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats, DVD with Navigation, 21 channel CB radio , 6 cup holders, 4 power outlets, custom “Bubbaâ€￾ floor mats, trailering package with gold hitch. Put on special alloy wheels and off road Michelin's. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door.

The Sergeant took notes in detail. At this point the husband started tearing up the place.

Sergeant: - Don't worry.......We’ll find your truck.

:rofl:
 
haha, may not be that funny to some on this site. Seems some guys love their truck/cars more than their wives/family. Take a look at a mans checking account to tell where his heart is.
 
shorty said:
haha, may not be that funny to some on this site. Seems some guys love their truck/cars more than their wives/family. Take a look at a mans checking account to tell where his heart is.
Click to expand...

I guess I am lost as not sure what the size of my checking account has to do with were my heart is
 
Man calls the police department to tell them that he believes his wife might be dead. What makes you think that says the officer? Well the sex is the same but the dishes are piling up. :)
 
If you were to look at my check book you could tell that I buy more bling for my 10 than I do for my wife & she reminds of that fact daily. She also lets me know her shoes cost a lost less than the shoes (tires) for the 10.
 
A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hand.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Hamad raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Hamad, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Hamad replied, "Shit, from way back there I thought you said goats."
 
06SRT10 said:
If you were to look at my check book you could tell that I buy more bling for my 10 than I do for my wife & she reminds of that fact daily. She also lets me know her shoes cost a lost less than the shoes (tires) for the 10.
Click to expand...

You're lucky.
My wife has pairs of shoes that cost more then a tire. And she has more then 4 pairs... a lot more.....
 
Bhpaddict said:
You're lucky.
My wife has pairs of shoes that cost more then a tire. And she has more then 4 pairs... a lot more.....
Click to expand...

Somebody managed to get a photo of your wife's shoe collection...holy shit...is she related to Imelda Marcos??

:rofl:

article-2207353-05C530900000044D-665_634x408.jpg
 
A Brunette and her Blonde friend were sitting on the Brunette's front porch one sunny Friday afternoon enjoying the sunshine.
All of a sudden the Brunette see's her husband walking home from work carrying a big beautiful bouquet of flowers, points this out to her friend and bursts out a big "OH NO".

The Blonde is confused by this and asks "What's wrong? Don't you like flowers?"
The Brunette responds with "I love flowers, but this means I'll be on my back all weekend with my legs in the air."

The Blonde is now even more confused, thinks about this a few seconds and asks.

"Don't you have a vase?":dontknow:
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Support Us

Become A Supporting Member Today!

Click Here For Details

Random Media

DSC 0017
Noid web
IMG 0027
taillights 031
Back
Top