New PC virus... EVERYONE READ...

Discussion in 'Non-Offensive' started by VPRPWR, Aug 23, 2006.

  1. VPRPWR

    VPRPWR Full Access Member

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    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, Racing 3.6, and Golf 9.3.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    Thanks,
    A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
    ______________________________________

    REPLY:

    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!
    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support
     
  2. The Shadow

    The Shadow New Member

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    i did delete wife 1.0, it cost me home 1.0, bank accout 1.0, and nutsack 1.5, i never do again. i glad i get arti-facial nut sack .005 i back in the game
     
  3. SilvrSRT10

    SilvrSRT10 Full Access Member

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    Dear Tech Support,

    What should I do when Nag Nag 9.5 get stuck in an infinite loop? I think if I do a total system shutdown it may invoke Jailtime 15.2.20. Help!!
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2006
  4. ViperJeff

    ViperJeff Well-Known Member Administrator Supporting Member

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    Reply to Nag Nag 9.5

    Install Tennis Pro 10.5. If used correctly, Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, Racing 3.6, and Golf 9.3 are restored to there full use and Nag Nag 9.5 is suspended, then can be deleted once log file is full

    Good Luck
     
  5. lightninquick

    lightninquick Full Access Member

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    wife 1.0 can only take control when the operator lets his hardrive do all his thinking,,,,when put in the right place at the desired time the wife 1.0 can take the place of the simulated wife 1.0 most operators use by themselfs,,,
     
  6. FerrariTruck

    FerrariTruck Full Access Member

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    Ok well what do you do when girlfriend 7.0 is already starting to seem like wife 1.0, shut down and reboot?
     
  7. ViperJeff

    ViperJeff Well-Known Member Administrator Supporting Member

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    Upgrade to 8.0
     
  8. TheSickness

    TheSickness Full Access Member

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    I am lucky I already have a perfect 10 for my wife........She is a awesome human being :D
     
  9. DrPierceMD

    DrPierceMD Full Access Member

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    You know we are trying to have a serious conversation here and you have to polute it with your mushy talk. ;) :p :D I think Wife 1.0 is just monitoring you right now that is why you HAD to put that there. :bootyshake: ...........:D



    BTW I bet she feels the same about you.:eek:
     
  10. TheSickness

    TheSickness Full Access Member

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    Wife 10.0 is also on the site..........:D