Texas Yellow Fever
Full Access Member
This is for SilverBack, and all you other engineer types out there...
Understanding Engineers - One
>>
>> Two engineering students were walking across a
>> university campus when one
>> said, "Where did you get such a great bike?".
>>
>> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
>> along yesterday, minding
>> my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on
>> this bike, threw it to
>> the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
>> what you want."
>>
>> The first engineer nodded approvingly and said,
>> "Good choice; the clothes
>> probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Two
>>
>> To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
>> To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
>> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
>> needs to be.
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Three
>>
>> A priest, a doctor , and an engineer were waiting
>> one morning for a
>> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
>> fumed, "What's with those
>> guys ? We must have been waiting for fifteen
>> minutes !" The doctor chimed
>> in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
>> golf !" The priest said,
>> "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word
>> with him."
>> He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group
>> ahead of us ? They're
>> rather slow, aren't they ?"
>> The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group
>> of blind firemen. They
>> lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
>> last year, so we always
>> let them play for free anytime."
>>
>> The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest
>> said, "That's so sad I
>> think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
>>
>> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
>> ophthalmologist
>> colleague and see if there's anything he can do for
>> them."
>>
>> The engineer said, "Why c an't t hey play at night
>> ?"
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Four
>>
>> What is the difference between mechanical engineers
>> and civil engineers?
>>
>> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil
>> engineers build targets.
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Five
>>
>> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does
>> it work ?"
>> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How
>> does it work ?"
>> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How
>> much will it cost ?"
>> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want
>> fries with that ?"
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Six
>>
>> Three engineering students were gathered together
>> discussing who must have
>> designed the human body.
>>
>> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look
>> at all the joints."
>>
>> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. T
>> he ner v ous system has
>> many thousands of electrical connections."
>>
>> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been
>> a civil engineer. Who
>> else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
>> recreational area?"
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Seven
>>
>> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't
>> fix it.
>> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't
>> have enough features
>> yet.
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Eight
>>
>> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog
>> called out to him and
>> said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
>> princess." He bent over,
>> picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>>
>> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me
>> I'll turn back into a
>> beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
>> The engineer took the
>> frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
>> to the pock et.
>> < BR>The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
>> turn me back into a
>> princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do
>> ANYTHING you want." Again,
>> the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put
>> it back into his
>> pocket.
>>
>> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter ? I've
>> told you I'm a
>> beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for
>> one week and do anything
>> you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
>>
>> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
>> have time for a
>> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
>>
>>
>
>
Understanding Engineers - One
>>
>> Two engineering students were walking across a
>> university campus when one
>> said, "Where did you get such a great bike?".
>>
>> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
>> along yesterday, minding
>> my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on
>> this bike, threw it to
>> the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take
>> what you want."
>>
>> The first engineer nodded approvingly and said,
>> "Good choice; the clothes
>> probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Two
>>
>> To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
>> To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
>> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
>> needs to be.
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Three
>>
>> A priest, a doctor , and an engineer were waiting
>> one morning for a
>> particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
>> fumed, "What's with those
>> guys ? We must have been waiting for fifteen
>> minutes !" The doctor chimed
>> in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
>> golf !" The priest said,
>> "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word
>> with him."
>> He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group
>> ahead of us ? They're
>> rather slow, aren't they ?"
>> The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group
>> of blind firemen. They
>> lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
>> last year, so we always
>> let them play for free anytime."
>>
>> The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest
>> said, "That's so sad I
>> think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
>>
>> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
>> ophthalmologist
>> colleague and see if there's anything he can do for
>> them."
>>
>> The engineer said, "Why c an't t hey play at night
>> ?"
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Four
>>
>> What is the difference between mechanical engineers
>> and civil engineers?
>>
>> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil
>> engineers build targets.
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Five
>>
>> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does
>> it work ?"
>> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How
>> does it work ?"
>> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How
>> much will it cost ?"
>> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want
>> fries with that ?"
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Six
>>
>> Three engineering students were gathered together
>> discussing who must have
>> designed the human body.
>>
>> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look
>> at all the joints."
>>
>> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. T
>> he ner v ous system has
>> many thousands of electrical connections."
>>
>> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been
>> a civil engineer. Who
>> else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
>> recreational area?"
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Seven
>>
>> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't
>> fix it.
>> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't
>> have enough features
>> yet.
>>
>> ------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>> Understanding Engineers - Eight
>>
>> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog
>> called out to him and
>> said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful
>> princess." He bent over,
>> picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>>
>> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me
>> I'll turn back into a
>> beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
>> The engineer took the
>> frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
>> to the pock et.
>> < BR>The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
>> turn me back into a
>> princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do
>> ANYTHING you want." Again,
>> the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put
>> it back into his
>> pocket.
>>
>> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter ? I've
>> told you I'm a
>> beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for
>> one week and do anything
>> you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
>>
>> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
>> have time for a
>> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
>>
>>
>
>
