01VIPERGTS/ACR
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Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated
Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and
decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch
table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage
can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take
out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check
left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the
house to my desk where I find the can of Coke t hat I had been
drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is
getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep
it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses
that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to
water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with
water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen
table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for
the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I
decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water
the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe
up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to
do.
At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help
for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
PS: I just remembered...I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING
IN THE DRIVEWAY
Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and
decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch
table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage
can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take
out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check
left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the
house to my desk where I find the can of Coke t hat I had been
drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke
aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is
getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep
it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the
counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses
that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to
water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with
water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen
table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for
the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I
decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water
the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe
up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to
do.
At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help
for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
PS: I just remembered...I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING
IN THE DRIVEWAY
