A serious question for parents

Scott, sounds as if you have made a little headway with the Ex...long term that can have wonderful value...great effort on your part...it is so hard to be rational with an Ex...but calm reasoned discussion is a great step...

This may sound crazy and impossible...but my Ex and I still speak on the phone when ever there is something important going on...her husband and I laugh and drink beer together when we have the chance...I will be going to Michigan when she has a heart valve repaired next month...it can happen.
 
Prof said:
Scott, sounds as if you have made a little headway with the Ex...long term that can have wonderful value...great effort on your part...it is so hard to be rational with an Ex...but calm reasoned discussion is a great step...

This may sound crazy and impossible...but my Ex and I still speak on the phone when ever there is something important going on...her husband and I laugh and drink beer together when we have the chance...I will be going to Michigan when she has a heart valve repaired next month...it can happen.
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We have had our moments, that's for sure! And usually it's when I start making sense about something, she will threaten me with her lawyer. :rolleyes:

I talk to her on the phone occasionally, but he and I will NEVER drink beer together!! EVER!! As far as I am concerned he is a low-life, back-stabbing, cheating, sorry-ass prick! And he had better continue to take care of my kids, or I will go to jail!!
 
Scott,

I read your earlier post and I have the feeling your ex has given you a little bit of a clue about what is happening with your son.

The obvious part is that he feels neglected. Now saying that, if you can work it a bit that you two have some sole father/son bonding time at the same time it may work out better for both of you.

Just an example, when you talk to your son next time, Word something on the lines of "I was able to work out a couple more days off, What do you think the both of us can do together?"

Since he is being abit more difficult, you might be better off to list off somethings in the area that he might be interested in doing with you. You might even get your ex involved in helping find things he might want to do.

There is no easy solution, good luck.

Wil
 
Thanks Wil! That is the way I am trying to take this now. I actually mentioned to him that we would have one on one time, but it didn't phase him.

Right now, I think that my wife and I will go to the reunion alone, and we are going to schedule some weekends to go visit them in the near future. That way we can have alone time.
 
Sorry to hear about all this...My father was lucky enough to get custody of me when I was 12. I guess that is very rare. I hope it all works out although I can unfortunetly say that for many reasons I never developed a relationship with my mother after everything happened
 
One on one won't faze any kid, giving him options shows that you are serious and want to.

I think planning a couple weekends will help repair the damage.

If I can ask, how does he get along with his wife?

Just a thought, make sure you plan activities with the two of you alone when you are together.

All I can say is that he is sending you a message right now. Taking a step back and reevaluating is your best option. Do you both like to downhill ski or any other activity? Maybe a weekend with just the two of you will get both of you back on track to see how much your son has developed in the last year.

Personally, I have a 19 yr old nephew and a 17 yr old niece from the same sister. I saw my nephew a year ago and the way he acted, I was ready to slap him... Literally!

Saying that, I saw him again at my cousins wedding last weekend. The change in the young man was incredible! I really enjoyed spending time with him and to make note I made time to spend with him. My niece is another story and would need a whole new thread... My point is, there lives are in total uphevel right now, and they maybe not telling you things verbally, but their actions will be a good judgement.

Wil
 
Manic said:
If I can ask, how does he get along with his wife?
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Do you mean, how does he get along with his new Step-father?

He gets along with him, but I don't think he feels the same about him that my twins do. They are 7 and call him dad.
 
Sorry, your other post said that your wife and you were going to spend sometime together?

Wil
 
Manic said:
Sorry, your other post said that your wife and you were going to spend sometime together?

Wil
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Ohh! You meant how does he get along with my wife?
He likes her, and they get along fine! (She's very hard not to like)




Anyway, I appreciate everyone's input on this, but I have made a very tough decision:

After re-evaluating my position, and finances, I realized that I am fooling myself in thinking that I can pull this trip off in the first place. :( We will not be going to Indiana, I simply can't afford to go. I will save some money and plan to spend a few weekends in Maine a little later this summer, after I have received a few paychecks.

Thanks again everyone, your input was great!!
 
Good luck Scott and congrats on your new job :rock:
 
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