azpyroguy
Full Access Member
/If you need cheering up, this will do it!/
THIS IS BETTER THAN AN ARREST
Posted to Craig's List Personals:
* To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown \Savannah)*
Reply to: Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST
I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the
knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing
the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me
that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.
Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge
flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and
wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the
liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situa
tion.
I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go
Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only
had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently
cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so
I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like
to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants.
What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time
you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
Peace!
THIS IS BETTER THAN AN ARREST
Posted to Craig's List Personals:
* To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown \Savannah)*
Reply to: Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST
I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the
knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing
the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me
that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening.
Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge
flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and
wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the
liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situa
tion.
I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go
Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only
had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently
cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so
I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like
to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants.
What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time
you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
Peace!
