Texas Yellow Fever
Full Access Member
I'm behind in jokes again, I'll combine a few to conserve threads.
Feb. 2 was Einstein's birthday. He would have been
107. Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner
married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first
marriage dissolved in 1919. He stated that he was
attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed, and
postulated that if you are attracted to women with
large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is
a genetic connection. This came to be known as
Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that? Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb asshole' is it?" Again the little boy nodded.. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A priest and a minister are standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground. The sign reads:
"The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now Before It's Too Late!"
A car speeds past them, the driver yelling, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"
There is the sound of screeching tires followed by a big splash.
The priest turns to the minister and asks, "Do you think the sign should just say 'Bridge Out'"?
Feb. 2 was Einstein's birthday. He would have been
107. Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner
married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first
marriage dissolved in 1919. He stated that he was
attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed, and
postulated that if you are attracted to women with
large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is
a genetic connection. This came to be known as
Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that? Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb asshole' is it?" Again the little boy nodded.. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A priest and a minister are standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground. The sign reads:
"The End is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now Before It's Too Late!"
A car speeds past them, the driver yelling, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"
There is the sound of screeching tires followed by a big splash.
The priest turns to the minister and asks, "Do you think the sign should just say 'Bridge Out'"?
