Texas Yellow Fever
Full Access Member
This (or versions of it) has been around since the dawn of time...but it still makes me laugh.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The
only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly
every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell
would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she
would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her
sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then
one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he
was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
plled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken
with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could
hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her
eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood
stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as
she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All
these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you
mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end
up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of
God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The
only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly
every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell
would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she
would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her
sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then
one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he
was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
plled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken
with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could
hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her
eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood
stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as
she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right." "All
these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you
mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end
up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of
God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
