OSO
Full Access Member
Found this on another forum thought you guys might get a laugh.
http://www.fmylife.com/
http://www.fmylife.com/
FML Funny stuff.
- Thread starter OSO
- Start date
OSO said:
I have read six pages of those.....
Good stuff.
Lee
FerrariTruck
Full Access Member
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
#761206 (174) - 04/02/2009 at 1:13am by Anonymous - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (33157) - you deserved that one (4586)
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:congrats:
#761206 (174) - 04/02/2009 at 1:13am by Anonymous - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (33157) - you deserved that one (4586)
ShareThis
:congrats:
OSO
Full Access Member
FerrariTruck said:Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
#761206 (174) - 04/02/2009 at 1:13am by Anonymous - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (33157) - you deserved that one (4586)
ShareThis
amtrucker22
Active Member
I liked this one
Fahrenheit
Full Access Member
The one where the guy gets kicked in the nuts twice, and the woman who cut her hair and her daughter said she had 2 dads now
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML
it got better the deeper i went
edit...i really didn't mean to type that last part to sound like that...but i'm not deleting it...because i already wrote all this to explain that i didn't mean it...i'm drunk and tired
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML
it got better the deeper i went
edit...i really didn't mean to type that last part to sound like that...but i'm not deleting it...because i already wrote all this to explain that i didn't mean it...i'm drunk and tired
Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was expecting my parents over to my dorm when I realized that the room smelled like weed a little. Thinking that no one would recognize the smell, I didn't do anything. As soon as my parents and little sister walk in my room, my sister yells "It smells like weed in here!" She's 10. FML
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was expecting my parents over to my dorm when I realized that the room smelled like weed a little. Thinking that no one would recognize the smell, I didn't do anything. As soon as my parents and little sister walk in my room, my sister yells "It smells like weed in here!" She's 10. FML
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Today, I babysat 3 year old twins. They have a huge dry erase board hanging inbetween their beds. After they fell asleep I drew a very detailed and large drawing of a penis. When I went to erase it I realized it was in Sharpie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me, so I decided to be bitchy about it and say "Did I say you could take a picture?" and he replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turn around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me, so I decided to be bitchy about it and say "Did I say you could take a picture?" and he replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turn around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
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