Hallmark Cards...

[Texas Yellow Fever]

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

==============================

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

==============================

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"

=============================

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

=============================

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

=============================

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.

After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.

=============================

I must admit, you brought religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

=========================

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.

======================

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

=========================

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

=====================

Happy birthday! You look great for your age!
Almost Lifelike!

====================

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

======================

We have been friends for a very long time ..
Let's say we stop?

================

I'm so miserable without you
It's almost like you're here.

=====================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

=======================

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.

==============

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

 

[Begood]

I was so happy,
My life full of Bliss,
Then I met you,
And I was remiss.

Bill.

 

[Django]

Sorry to hear of your recent illness.
But we know you'll soon be up and walking.
We sold your car.............

 

[Django]

Good thread Steve......

SD

 

[Wifey]

I was so happy,
My life full of Bliss,
Then I met you,
And I was remiss.

Bill.

I wonder how many people really feel like this and never admit it :dontknow: :dontknow:

 

[ROKTMAN]

Good ones Steve O.

 

[TheSickness]

Sorry to hear of your recent Impalement. :2in1:

 

[amoparman]

Very funny and good all of them!

Stretch

 

[SMOKES MOM]

Here's one. I work at a Urology Office :nurse:

Childhood is good
Youth is better
When you get old
You become a depends wetter.


LOVE
MOM:love:
I Love my Navy Man :captain:

 

[Django]

Roses are red, violets are blue
I suffer from mulitiple personality disorder
.....and so do I.....

 

[TheSickness]

Roses are green. Violets are black.
Please don't wear a thong , if you have a hairy Ass crack

 

[Silverback]

Roses are green. Violets are black.
Please don't wear a thong , if you have a hairy Ass crack

So, she shouldn't wear a thong. :dontknow:

 

[TheSickness]

So, she shouldn't wear a thong. :dontknow:

Phuggin A........

 

[Begood]

So, she shouldn't wear a thong. :dontknow:

Holy Shit! Where in the Hell do you find that shit. Its time for a DR field and brush mower.

Bill.