Begood
Full Access Member
If you remember that show, you will like this.
>If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will
> >bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the
> >days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted
and
> >(often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the
> >questions, of course.
> >
> >
> >Q. Do female frogs croak?
> >A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
> >
> >Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
> >be?
> >A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
> >
> >Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.!
> >A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
> >
> >Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
> >woman?
> >A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
> >
> >Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
that
> >he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
> >A Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
> >
> >Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
> >A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
> >
> >Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
> >A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
> >
> >Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
> >A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
> >
> >Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
> >while talking?
> >A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
> >give you a gesture you'll never forget.
> >
> >Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
> >A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
> >
> >Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get
> >any during the first year?
> >A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
> >
> >Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
> >A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
> >
> >Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
> >One is politics, what is the other?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
> >
> >Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
> >A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
> >
> >Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
> >A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
> >
> >Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
> >do?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
> >
> >Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark
> >
> >Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the
> >habit of kissing a lot of people?
> >A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
> >
> >Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
> >What does this mean?
> >A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
> >
> >Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
> >
> >Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
> >what was he trying to do?
> >A George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
> >
> >Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
> >elephant?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
> >
> >Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
> >A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
> >
> >Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has
> >actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
> >A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
> >
> >Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
> >bed?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
> >
Bill.
>If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will
> >bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the
> >days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted
and
> >(often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the
> >questions, of course.
> >
> >
> >Q. Do female frogs croak?
> >A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
> >
> >Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
> >be?
> >A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
> >
> >Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.!
> >A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
> >
> >Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
> >woman?
> >A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
> >
> >Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
that
> >he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
> >A Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
> >
> >Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
> >A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
> >
> >Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
> >A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
> >
> >Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
> >A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
> >
> >Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
> >while talking?
> >A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
> >give you a gesture you'll never forget.
> >
> >Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
> >A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
> >
> >Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get
> >any during the first year?
> >A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
> >
> >Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
> >A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
> >
> >Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
> >One is politics, what is the other?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
> >
> >Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
> >A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
> >
> >Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
> >A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
> >
> >Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
> >do?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
> >
> >Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark
> >
> >Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the
> >habit of kissing a lot of people?
> >A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
> >
> >Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
> >What does this mean?
> >A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
> >
> >Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
> >
> >Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
> >what was he trying to do?
> >A George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
> >
> >Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
> >elephant?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
> >
> >Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
> >A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
> >
> >Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has
> >actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
> >A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
> >
> >Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
> >bed?
> >A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
> >
Bill.
