If only I could teach all of this to my dog

[OCBob]

1. The garbage man is not stealing our stuff.

2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, sofa, or under the bed

4. I must shake the rainwater off my coat BEFORE entering the house

5. I will not eat the cats food before they eat it or after they throw it up

6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick

7. I will not roll on dead decaying mammals, fish or fowl just because I like the way they smell

8. Kitty box crunchies, although they are tasty, are not food for me

9. I will not eat anymore Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the yard after processing them

10. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar

11. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones or my owners will think I'm hemorrhaging

12. Even though we have a doorbell I will not bark everytime I hear one on TV

13. I will not steal my moms underwear and dance all over the backyard with it

14. My head does not belong in the refrigerator

15. I will not bite the troopers hand when he reaches in for Dads license and registration

16. I will not play tug of war with Dads underwear when he's on the toilet

17. To avoid having a string hanging out of my ass I will not eat the mint flavored floss out of the bathroom garbage

18. I will not roll around in the dirt after a bath

19. I will not come in from the outside and immediately drag my ass across the carpet

20. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and just because the water is blue doesn't mean its any cleaner

 

[Black1]

If we could only teach Mikey these things as well.

 

[ntw0rk]

If we could only teach Mikey these things as well.

Bahahahaha!!!! Crunchies in the cat box!!!

 

[Brat]

one thing about mikey,you cant teach a real old dog new tricks.

 

[Begood]

Where I live we don't have city sewer, so we all have septic tanks. Well about 5 years ago when I still had a dog I get the tank pumped out, and where the guy seperated his hose it left sewage on the grass, well guess what...my long haired dog deceided he had to roll in it, over and over again. Boy was that fun to clean up.

Bill.

 

[ntw0rk]

Where I live we don't have city sewer, so we all have septic tanks. Well about 5 years ago when I still had a dog I get the tank pumped out, and where the guy seperated his hose it left sewage on the grass, well guess what...my long haired dog deceided he had to roll in it, over and over again. Boy was that fun to clean up.

Bill.

uke:uke:

how long did it take to get the smell outta that?!?!?!

 

[Begood]

Way too Damn long.

Bill.

 

[SilvrSRT10]

Where I live we don't have city sewer, so we all have septic tanks. Well about 5 years ago when I still had a dog I get the tank pumped out, and where the guy seperated his hose it left sewage on the grass, well guess what...my long haired dog deceided he had to roll in it, over and over again. Boy was that fun to clean up.

Bill.

That's the time to put him in the back of the pickup (not the srt-10) and go to the drive thru car wash.