Married Life

[Texas Yellow Fever]

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the
>> husband,
>> although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on
>> the town and party with his old buddies.
>>
>>
>> So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right
>> back."
>>
>> "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
>>
>>
>> "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm
>> going to have a
>> beer."
>>
>>
>> The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened
>> the door to the
>> refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
>> beer, brands from 12
>> different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India,
>> etc.
>>
>>
>> The husband didn't know what to do, and the only
>> thing that he could
>> think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... But at the
>> bar... You know... They
>> have frozen glasses... "
>>
>>
>> He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the
>> wife interrupted
>> him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"
>> She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen
>> that she was getting chills just holding it.
>>
>>
>> The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie
>> Roll, but at the
>> bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really
>> delicious... I won't be
>> long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
>>
>>
>> "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened
>> the oven and took
>> out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken
>> wings, pigs in blankets,
>> mushroom caps, and little quiches.
>>
>>
>> "But my sweet honey... At the bar.... You know
>> there's swearing,
>> dirty words and all that..."
>>
>>
>> "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN
>> SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR
>> BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES
>> BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR!
>> THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"
>>
>>
>> And...they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a
>> sweet story?

 

[RedSrt007]

heheh....

 

[TheSickness]

:dancing:

 

[ViperJeff]

I've seen that joke....LIVE

 

[Silverback]

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN
SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR
BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES
BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR!
THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"

I would have agreed with her. That marriage shit would have ended right then and there.

 

[Brat]

sounds like my second wife,the darling she was.

 

[ntw0rk]

Hahahahaha!!!! That's good!


I got a couple:

Three stages of sex in marriage:

1. House sex - this is when you are first married and everything excites you, so you have sex in any and every room in the house. This usually last about 2 years

2. Bedroom sex - when your sex is confined to the bedroom, because you are too tired to bother anywhere else. About the 3-15th year.

3. Hallway sex - 15th year til death or divorce. This is when you pass each other in the hall and look at each other and say, "Fuck you", "Yeah, Fuck you too!"


______


Did you know that scientists have discovered a substance that prevents oral sex?






It's called Wedding Cake!!