Musterd

05srt10carson

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West coast mother fucker's
Subject: Mustard

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I*Love Mustard. (This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father).
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers..
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster.
It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.

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With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy expensive mustard "Poupon"
*When you stop laughing, pass it on.
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"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock, and my Redeemer."* Ps 19:14




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Thats awful. Im a huge fan of mustard, having 3 varieties imported from germany in my fridge right now. Ill never look at it the same way.
 
man:(:(:(LMAO:toilet:

guess its good i'm not a big mustard fan.

do have some badass horseradish mustard in the ice box:rock::rock::rock:
 
Once upon a time I was a server in a restaurant. I was preparing my french tray with entrees and souffle cups that had mayo and mustard. I was having a conversation with a female server when one of the souffle cups of mustard went flying off my tray. When it hit the ground it was faced up and mustard shot up all the way to the open mouth of the female server landing on her tongue. The look on her face was priceless. ROFL
 

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