Need advice on Deployment

iraqivet01 said:
I usually don't give advise unless requested. So here goes....

Money can buy a lot, but it can't buy you time.

If she never had you gone longer then a week, it going to be a culture shock to say the least. Granted your just going to Quatar, but your not there to fix the car when it breaks down, or help with the kids when she needs time to herself. uh 22 isn't all that old, and unless she is pretty independant and can handle all the house hold finances, the kids, and day to day chores all by herself for a year, well I can ensure you, you will be dealing with a freaked out wife on the phone after 3 months (been there, done it, and it will happen)

Like ViperTruck2933, I stayed gone for a bunch years. and this was prior to 9/11. (All over Central and South America, Former Yugoslavia, Africa, Korea, Panama, Desert Storm, and now Horn of Africa, Afghanistan, and Iraq)

After a couple of kids and 3 failed marriage, and a half dozen other failed relationships, my past and present team members are pretty much all the family I got now.

Now lets get what it does to your kids. Their attitude towards you will be not as a dad, but a guy that comes and goes, and you will no longer be the guy in charge. They will act up and become hard for her to handle because kids will learn what they can get away with, and know how to push her buttoms, which in turn she going to bitch at you on the phone because JR not doing what she told him to do, and it all your fail because your off playing around in some far off country.

Lost a lot of years with my children growing up, and now before I knew it, they were grown and gone, our relationship to this day is distance at best.



Oh, Have fun, Quatar it's a pretty neat country.
Damn good advice if you ask me.
 
I say go. There will be times when you regret leaving. But after you come back the memories of the crappy times will fade but the extra money has the potential to improve your life forever. With the internet, skype, etc you will be able to stay in direct contact with your family. If your wife is cool with it then go.
 
iraqivet01 said:
I usually don't give advise unless requested. So here goes....

Money can buy a lot, but it can't buy you time.

If she never had you gone longer then a week, it going to be a culture shock to say the least. Granted your just going to Quatar, but your not there to fix the car when it breaks down, or help with the kids when she needs time to herself. uh 22 isn't all that old, and unless she is pretty independant and can handle all the house hold finances, the kids, and day to day chores all by herself for a year, well I can ensure you, you will be dealing with a freaked out wife on the phone after 3 months (been there, done it, and it will happen)

Like ViperTruck2933, I stayed gone for a bunch years. and this was prior to 9/11. (All over Central and South America, Former Yugoslavia, Africa, Korea, Panama, Desert Storm, and now Horn of Africa, Afghanistan, and Iraq)

After a couple of kids and 3 failed marriage, and a half dozen other failed relationships, my past and present team members are pretty much all the family I got now.

Now lets get what it does to your kids. Their attitude towards you will be not as a dad, but a guy that comes and goes, and you will no longer be the guy in charge. They will act up and become hard for her to handle because kids will learn what they can get away with, and know how to push her buttoms, which in turn she going to bitch at you on the phone because JR not doing what she told him to do, and it all your fail because your off playing around in some far off country.

Lost a lot of years with my children growing up, and now before I knew it, they were grown and gone, our relationship to this day is distance at best.



Oh, Have fun, Quatar it's a pretty neat country.



I aggree 100% I didnt have kids but a young wife, and you hit the nail on the head. Move and be happy and not divorced,because it sounds good until shit hits the fan. Oh my vote wold be don't go:D
 
DevilDawg3097 said:
I aggree 100% I didnt have kids but a young wife, and you hit the nail on the head. Move and be happy and not divorced,because it sounds good until shit hits the fan. Oh my vote wold be don't go:D
You mean you guys like your wife's?? Oh shit I'm in trouble here comes Momma.....

Just kidding - wouldn't get rid of mine even if she made me. :D
 
10banger said:
You mean you guys like your wife's?? Oh shit I'm in trouble here comes Momma.....

Just kidding - wouldn't get rid of mine even if she made me. :D
Not that one:elefant: got divorced right when I got out, and I got out because of here:dontknow: :burnout: :aetsch:
 
as a guy who lives and works in the UAE, why can't you take the family with you. i have the wife right here next to me
 
dude if you and the family is strong i would take it in a heart beat...think about how better off your faimly will be for 1 year of sacrifice...... just have a heart to heart with the wife and see how she feels and if she supports it or not...... Its not a decision for you to make alone....
 
no way would i leave a precious little girl and boy for a dollar. a year without them youll regret later on. just my opinion.
 
So the count I got is.
Go - 7
Don't go - 4

Haven't heard back from JRs Viper and Patrick if you get this, I'd like your input too, I know you the best of everyone on here. (nothing personal guys, but being in the same town, Patrick and I have gotten a chance to hang out with the families)

Regardless, I was about 85% on the Go side before yalls input. But After OC Bob and IraqiVet01's input, they bring up valid points that lean towards the MoMoney Moproblems FACTS of what can happen. So if this situation only affected me emotionally and mentally and my kids wouldn't suffer any of the consequeces of divorce or me being absent, then I'd go.

I'd have to say I'm pretty 50-50 on this now. I will ask about personally fincancing my family coming over there. I think at this point that is the only thing that would change this situation for me.
 
I mean, if I make an extra 100K(after taxes) and get divorced, the costs of supporting two households(in San Diego) would be rediculous and wouldn't pay off over finishing college(been takin 8 credits per semester) in the long run).

This is probably the biggest and most life changing decision in my life(besides the night I got my wife prego for the first time hahahahahahahahaha.:cheers: :listen: :evil: :knuddel: :tomato: :laugh:
 
SD2005Dustin said:
I mean, if I make an extra 100K(after taxes) and get divorced, the costs of supporting two households(in San Diego) would be rediculous and wouldn't pay off over finishing college(been takin 8 credits per semester) in the long run).

This is probably the biggest and most life changing decision in my life(besides the night I got my wife prego for the first time hahahahahahahahaha.:cheers: :listen: :evil: :knuddel: :tomato: :laugh:
Was that some of that rough sex you speak of?:p

Hope everything works out for you man. Simply follow your heart. You cannot be misguided there.:)
 
You have the correct plan.

Take your vacation in two parts, two weeks at a time, spaced out evenly. First vacation take family to Dubai. Second one go home to all your family and friends, plus to shake off the home sickness. After that it is downhill and you have money in the bank.

Word of caution after that year. Most companies offer a pretty good bonus to sign on again after a year or two. It will be tempting again.

You will have some of us over there with you (military and contractors) so you won't be without friends. Just let us know when and what unit (PM it).

Internet capes have increased overseas, making the world a little bit smaller. Plus, no blackout on sporting events if you are on a military base! :rock:

In Doha, Qatar, there are many great places to eat and visit. You will be surprised at the money invested in some of the most irrelevant public features. Malls are great. People are interesting. It definitely will be an experience you won't forget. Same with Dubai.

Your physical conditioning after a year over there will be outstanding also.
 
Qatar is a very safe place, and is pretty livable, I would be there on the next plane for that money! (Remember too that you should be tax free over there)\

I say go now while the kids are young. They will miss you, but it's not the same as when they are older and really know that you are gone.
 
SD2005Dustin said:
So the count I got is.
Go - 7
Don't go - 4

Haven't heard back from JRs Viper and Patrick if you get this, I'd like your input too, I know you the best of everyone on here. (nothing personal guys, but being in the same town, Patrick and I have gotten a chance to hang out with the families)

Ok, here is goes :eek:

Dustin, you know I want the best for ya man...but this is a tough one. One thing I like to do when I give advise is sit back and put myself in the persons shoes.

That being said, Im a little torn. Part of me says you need to be the provider, the head of the house, and make sure your family is taken care of no matter what. BUT...big BUT; if your family is currently meeting their needs (note: not want's), then the time you spend with your family is priceless.

Ive learned that lots of prayer and thinking is needed when making a life-long decision like this one. It might not be life long for you, but the possible reprucutions might be ;)

if you want to do lunch and chat about it, let me know :)

Seeya!!
 

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