Texas Yellow Fever
Full Access Member
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
==============================
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
==============================
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
=============================
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
=============================
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
=============================
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
=============================
I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
=========================
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
======================
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
=========================
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
=====================
Happy birthday! You look great for your age!
Almost Lifelike!
====================
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
======================
We have been friends for a very long time ..
Let's say we stop?
================
I'm so miserable without you
It's almost like you're here.
=====================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
=======================
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
==============
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
==============================
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
==============================
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
=============================
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
=============================
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
=============================
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
=============================
I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
=========================
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
======================
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
=========================
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
=====================
Happy birthday! You look great for your age!
Almost Lifelike!
====================
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
======================
We have been friends for a very long time ..
Let's say we stop?
================
I'm so miserable without you
It's almost like you're here.
=====================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
=======================
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
==============
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
