NURSERY RHYMES WE DIDN`T HAVE AS KIDS

[01VIPERGTS/ACR]

> Mary had a little pig,
>
> She kept it fat and plastered;
>
> And when the price of pork went up,
>
> She shot the little bastard.
>
>
>
> ********************
>
>
>
> MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
>
> Her father shot it dead.
>
> Now it goes to school with her,
>
> Between two hunks of bread.
>
> ********************
>
>
>
> JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
>
> To have a little fun.
>
> Stupid Jill forgot the pill
>
> And now they have a son.
>
> ********************
>
>
>
> SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
>
> Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
>
> "What have you got there?"
>
> Said the Pie man unto Simon,
>
> "Pies, you Dumb Ass"
>
> ********************
>
>
>
> HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
>
> Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
>
> All the kings' horses,
>
> And all the kings' men.
>
> Had scrambled eggs,
>
> For breakfast again.
>
> ********************
>
>
>
> HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
>
> All over the bedside clock.
>
> The little dog laughed to see such fun.
>
> Then died of electric shock.
>
> ********************
>
>
>
> GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
>
> Kissed the girls and made them cry.
>
> And when the boys came out to play,
>
> He kissed them too 'cause he was gay
>
> ********************
>
>
>
> There was a little girl who had a little curl
>
> Right in the middle of her forehead.
>
> When she was good, she was very, very good.
>
> But when she was bad........
>
> She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

 

[Begood]

Those are much more realistic.

Bill.

 

[Black1]

Niiiiiice.

 

[Brat]

real good ones bro.

 

[ntw0rk]

Funny stuff!

...but why was the little dog standing in the cat's piddle?....

 

[Brat]

Funny stuff!

...but why was the little dog standing in the cat's piddle?....

because he did not want to sit down.

 

[MUTT]

jack be nimble
jack be quick
jack jumped over the candle stick.
jack wasn't nimble
and jack wasn't quick
jack's in the hospital, with a french fried d@#k

 

[Begood]

OUCH!

Bill.

 

[01VIPERGTS/ACR]

mary mary so contrary
shave that bush
IT`S SO DAMN HAIRY.

 

[01VIPERGTS/ACR]

little boy blew.......because he needed the money

 

[Black1]

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider
That crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn. :rock:

 

[Black1]

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

 

[01VIPERGTS/ACR]

am i hearing a little andrew dice clay?:dontknow:

jack and jill went up a hill
both with a buck and a quarter....
jill came down with two fifty.....
phuckin whore.

 

[Django]

....and the bitch ran away with the loon........

D

 

[Black1]

am i hearing a little andrew dice clay?:dontknow:

jack and jill went up a hill
both with a buck and a quarter....
jill came down with two fifty.....
phuckin whore.

DICE is commin' out with a new show on VH1. ..... He's trying to make a come-back.

He was cool back in the '80s... but, now he's is all fat, trying to squeeze into the same old leather jacket.