Official 1 LINER tread!!!

[The Itch]

Ever seen pink elephants hiding in trees? They do a good job don't they!

YURRR FUUUNYYYIEEEEE... Wish I could make the trip to TN 11/3...

Outlaw the BANANA!!!!:rock:

 

[Roz]

YURRR FUUUNYYYIEEEEE... Wish I could make the trip to TN 11/3...

Outlaw the BANANA!!!!:rock:

Nothing stopping you but air and opportunity!! I think Borden3SRT is gonna book a room that night . . :rock:

The Banana stays with Brat for safe keeping. . . Atleast I think it's safe! :dontknow:

 

[FlyingLow]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?




Cause it was dead.

 

[Roz]

What did the blonde's left say to the right leg? Nothing, they've never met!

 

[includemeout]

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?






















Your wife will always blow your bonus

 

[includemeout]

A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said





















I've got some "Cream" For that.

 

[includemeout]

What happened to Mkey when he walked into a wall with a boner?

















He smashed his his nose. :elefant:

 

[includemeout]

Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted?
















Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather.






Perverted is when you use the whole chicken

 

[includemeout]

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.






























A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!




You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can

 

[includemeout]

A magician was driving down the road..




























then he turned into a drive way

 

[The Itch]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by
his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me
up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went hunting.

 

[The Itch]

Marriage is a relationship in which one person
is always right, and the other is a husband.

 

[includemeout]

For Stinker :elefant: :elefant: :elefant: :burnout:

Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!

Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!

Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound!

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!

Yo mama's so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared!

Yo mama's so short she does backflips under the bed!

Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!

Yo mama's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!

Yo mama's so greasy companies buy their Oil from her!

Yo mama's so flat she's jealous of the wall!

Yo mama's so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers!

Yo mama's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!

Yo mama's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!

Yo mama's so bald you can see whats on her mind!

 

[includemeout]

These funny tongue twisters are difficult to say and may be a little dirty if you say them wrong.


I slit the sheet - the sheet I slit - and on the slitted sheet I sit.


Try to keep repeating the phrase "Red lorry, yellow lorry"


She sells sea shells on the sea shore !


Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.


I'm not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant pluckers son.
And I'm only plucking pleasants
'till the pheasant plucker comes.


Silly Simon's sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where he sits he shines, and where he shines he sits.

 

[includemeout]

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

What do you call a camal with 3 humps?
Humphreys

What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
DAMN!

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off

What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !

What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
I have no I-Deer

What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

What is a dogs favourite school subject?
"Dog-Ruff-E "

Why are there no asprins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

Why do gerillas have big nostralls?
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick

 

[The Itch]

I'm laughing my ass off!!!

 

[The Itch]

Yo mama's so FAT:

*she don't take pictures, she takes posters
*her baby pictures were taken by satellite
*a picture of her would fall off the wall
*she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us
*she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out
*she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
*she puts on her belt with a boomerang
*she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
*when you get on top of her your ears pop
*when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
*the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"
*when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
*she fell in love and broke it
*she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
*even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
*she wakes up in sections
*when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
*she's on both sides of the family
*everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil
*she fell and made the Grand Canyon
*she has to use a VCR as a beeper
*she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
*they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
*she influences the tides
*she stands in two time zones
*she cant tie her own shoes
*she cant reach her back pocket
*that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
*they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through tunnel *when they want to clean it
*she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
*she stepped on a talking scale and it said @#**&^%
*she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
*after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
*when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
*she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
*her favorite dress is a tent
*she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
*she has to iron her pants on the driveway
*she needs a building permit for her girdle
*she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
*she needed her ears pierced with a harpoon
*when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
*when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
*when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
*when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
*the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
*the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
*when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
*she has her own zip code
*the phone company gave her two area codes
*people jog around her for exercise
*when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
*when she wears a Malcom X shirt, helicopters try to land on her
*she shows up on radar
*when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
*when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders the "Thank You, Come Again"
*when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
*when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains"
*when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them
*when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
*the difference between her and Moby Dick is about three pounds
*when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
*when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
*when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and the "D"
*she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
*she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
*her senior picture had to be an aerial view
*she has to fly cargo class
*she has to wear a sock on each toe
*she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
*the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
*she needs to put a bookmark in her folds to find her belly button
*when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
*she sells shade in the summer
*cows graze by her for the shade
*when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
*she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
*she could be the eighth continent
*she farted and put herself into an orbit
*I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
*the only thing attracted to her is gravity
*small objects tend to orbit her
*her belly button's got an echo



Yo mama's so STUPID:

• she got hit by a parked car
• she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays
• she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog
• she bought a solar-powered flashlight
• she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals
• she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's
• she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico
• she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate"
• I strangled her with a cordless phone
• she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
• she sits on the TV and watches the sofa
• she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?"
• she stands up on an empty bus
• when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color
• when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends
• she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
• she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
• she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
• she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills

Yo mama's so UGLY:

• your daddy takes her to work so he doesn't need to kiss her goodbye
• she makes blind kids cry
• when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back
• the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down
• when she passes by your bathroom, the toilet flushes
• when she gets up, the sun goes down
• when she was born, they put her in an incubator with tinted windows
• when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother
• when she was born, her mom said, "What a treasure!"; and your dad replied, "Yeah, let's go bury it"
• when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end
• the government moved Halloween to her birthday
• instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
• they push her face into the dough to make gorilla cookies
• when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back"
• the prince would rather live as a frog than kiss her
• her mom had to feed her with a slingshot
• her parents first named her "Accident"
• they knew what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
• she took your dog to the Canine Show and won......your dog came in second

YOU GOT JOKES??? I GOT F'N JOKES!!!

 

[The Itch]

Nothing stopping you but air and opportunity!! I think Borden3SRT is gonna book a room that night . . :rock:

The Banana stays with Brat for safe keeping. . . Atleast I think it's safe! :dontknow:

You left out the pesky kids and wife...

 

[Wifey]

"Tread" on me and I will stomp your one liner.

:elefant: :elefant: :elefant: :elefant: :elefant: :elefant: :elefant: :elefant:

It's a joke Roy

 

[Stanimal]

one day a man made a thread on a forum,
to try and rescuse members from bordom.

he laughed so hard in his head,
that the dumbass forgot how to spell THREAD