Venom Power
Full Access Member
This is definitely an off topic discussion that has nothing to do with our vehicles. I really had no intentions of mentioning anything to anyone but recently some things about me and some things I've been going through leaked out (my fault) and now there has been some unexpected concern from many of you. This thread is about something I need to say here so that those that have been aware and tried to get involved can see that my appreciation in their endeavors truly exists. I won’t go into details because many of you already know what’s been happening with me. To many it may not even seem like a big deal. It should have been an easy cut and dry decision for me to carry on with myself with no worries whatsoever. But when your mind is preaching common sense to you while your heart tells you things contrary to reality it’s very difficult for someone when the body is at a constant battle with itself. For all others that don’t know what’s been happening with me or simply just don’t give a damn you can leave now to another happier thread. I wouldn’t mind. I just learned some things about this forum that I really didn’t know before and I am very enthusiastic about making it known.
Since joining this forum I’ve come to realize the meaning of good people. I have to admit there were many times I sat and watched certain individuals sticking together; knitted closely and united as a conglomerate of friends that seemed to me impenetrable or for some others, impossible to join. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. That really bothered me but I wouldn’t say anything. I would just continue to post when the opportunity permitted and many times would not receive a reply back. For a little while I backed off only to return again to try and add my $0.02 worth to threads that interested me. Then, this summer I got a chance to meet a handful of you. It was an experience I will never forget. It was seemingly harmonic even though some differences existed at the time among the group and the entire forum. I’m sure by now those differences were ironed out. Then as some of you know I hit some difficult times shortly after the Houston meet in June. I stayed away from here because I just didn’t have that drive to do anything but mope and sulk. I’d leave work everyday just to go home and lay down to try and sleep. I often found myself completely awake until the next morning. I lost over 35 lbs. in just over a month due to lack of eating. I realize it wasn’t the right thing for me to do. I was just hurting myself further. I remembered seeing how this forum would band together for various causes, mainly to support one another when in need. I just didn’t think I would be worthy or even missed if I were to just drop away for the time I did. I spent a long while trying to get over my depression. I’ve had very bad ideas on how to end the hurt I was feeling. I tried talking with some of the Houston guys about it and they certainly tried to offer help and advice. But I just was so far gone in my hurting that I seemed unreceptive at times. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about and that is only because you showed me that you are concerned for me; really it was all unexpected but truly I feel it a blessing.
I’ve had the pleasing opportunity to receive calls from some forum members here about my situation. Like I said I never thought that anyone would care. Some have even left their posts offering to listen to me; trying to lend support for my dilemma when they certainly didn’t have to (right Maui?). How blind was I to stay away from such great people? After speaking with some of you this weekend I feel a lot better than I did a couple months ago when I actually thought that by making that ultimately wrong decision would stop my pain. Of course I am glad I got over that part and I know it would have been a cop out chicken shit permanent way to solve a temporary problem. People like Mikey (the Sickness), Fast Jack, Slow 91 and had_to_have_it are truly individuals that make anyone lucky enough just to know them. There are many more of you like Shawn (Iltmprd), Ken (NBT) and Mr. Holden that I know I could call up and count on for kind and truthful words. Even Dave (Roktman) was there for me when I needed someone to talk to. Since spending time on the phone with some of these guys I’ve come to the realization that I shouldn’t be beating myself up or feeling guilty for going the extra mile and a half for someone that just does not appreciate a good person. I found out that with great help from this forum I will survive. My steps to recovery are short but persistent. Good friends are truly the remedy to many problems we face each day. It’s something I was never use to having, but God has brought me that gift and I surely appreciate you all. Thank you for your time and efforts for all of those that know what I mean. I will certainly keep in touch for talks when I am feeling as I have been. Depression and feeling alone really sucks and can eat away at a person. Look at me, it ate away 35 lbs. of myself so far and part of my very soul. Just cherish your happiness when you have it. Family is everything; plain and simple. The VTCoA family really showed me that I too am an important and significant part of this place. I for one am deeply honored to be a part of this family. For those who have made it this far through this thread I thank you for your time as much as I thank all of those who showed me they really care. Live on folks and keep those trucks running strong. Peace.
http://www.vtcoa.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3210
Since joining this forum I’ve come to realize the meaning of good people. I have to admit there were many times I sat and watched certain individuals sticking together; knitted closely and united as a conglomerate of friends that seemed to me impenetrable or for some others, impossible to join. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. That really bothered me but I wouldn’t say anything. I would just continue to post when the opportunity permitted and many times would not receive a reply back. For a little while I backed off only to return again to try and add my $0.02 worth to threads that interested me. Then, this summer I got a chance to meet a handful of you. It was an experience I will never forget. It was seemingly harmonic even though some differences existed at the time among the group and the entire forum. I’m sure by now those differences were ironed out. Then as some of you know I hit some difficult times shortly after the Houston meet in June. I stayed away from here because I just didn’t have that drive to do anything but mope and sulk. I’d leave work everyday just to go home and lay down to try and sleep. I often found myself completely awake until the next morning. I lost over 35 lbs. in just over a month due to lack of eating. I realize it wasn’t the right thing for me to do. I was just hurting myself further. I remembered seeing how this forum would band together for various causes, mainly to support one another when in need. I just didn’t think I would be worthy or even missed if I were to just drop away for the time I did. I spent a long while trying to get over my depression. I’ve had very bad ideas on how to end the hurt I was feeling. I tried talking with some of the Houston guys about it and they certainly tried to offer help and advice. But I just was so far gone in my hurting that I seemed unreceptive at times. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about and that is only because you showed me that you are concerned for me; really it was all unexpected but truly I feel it a blessing.
I’ve had the pleasing opportunity to receive calls from some forum members here about my situation. Like I said I never thought that anyone would care. Some have even left their posts offering to listen to me; trying to lend support for my dilemma when they certainly didn’t have to (right Maui?). How blind was I to stay away from such great people? After speaking with some of you this weekend I feel a lot better than I did a couple months ago when I actually thought that by making that ultimately wrong decision would stop my pain. Of course I am glad I got over that part and I know it would have been a cop out chicken shit permanent way to solve a temporary problem. People like Mikey (the Sickness), Fast Jack, Slow 91 and had_to_have_it are truly individuals that make anyone lucky enough just to know them. There are many more of you like Shawn (Iltmprd), Ken (NBT) and Mr. Holden that I know I could call up and count on for kind and truthful words. Even Dave (Roktman) was there for me when I needed someone to talk to. Since spending time on the phone with some of these guys I’ve come to the realization that I shouldn’t be beating myself up or feeling guilty for going the extra mile and a half for someone that just does not appreciate a good person. I found out that with great help from this forum I will survive. My steps to recovery are short but persistent. Good friends are truly the remedy to many problems we face each day. It’s something I was never use to having, but God has brought me that gift and I surely appreciate you all. Thank you for your time and efforts for all of those that know what I mean. I will certainly keep in touch for talks when I am feeling as I have been. Depression and feeling alone really sucks and can eat away at a person. Look at me, it ate away 35 lbs. of myself so far and part of my very soul. Just cherish your happiness when you have it. Family is everything; plain and simple. The VTCoA family really showed me that I too am an important and significant part of this place. I for one am deeply honored to be a part of this family. For those who have made it this far through this thread I thank you for your time as much as I thank all of those who showed me they really care. Live on folks and keep those trucks running strong. Peace.
http://www.vtcoa.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3210
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There is a reason why Jack O' Donnell is YODA and everyone should talk to this man. He is a inspiration to me and one of the finest men I have ever been graced with the pleasure of knowing. He is the Father I never had in some respects. Shawn ( Iltemperd ) is my Brother and my life is truly blessed to have him in it and I am honored to know he is my best friend... He has helped me in ways to vast for words..He is a kindred spirit :rock: 
