One of my fav net jokes

[bigike]

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
>children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around
>the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises
>the knife, and charges at you.
>
> You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You
>have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
>
> What do you do?
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Democrat's Answer
>
> Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
>
> Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
>
> Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
>
> Could we run away?
>
> What does my wife think? What about the kids?
>
> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out
>of his hand?
>
> What does the law say about this situation?
>
> Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
>
> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
>this send to society and to my children?
>
> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
>
> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
>wound me?
>
> If I were to grab his knees and hold on , could my family get away
>while he was stabbing me?
>
> Should I call 911?
>
> Why is this street so deserted?
> We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
>happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
>
> This is all so confusing!
>
> I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to
>a consensus.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Republican's Answer:
>
> BANG!
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Redneck's Answer:
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! B ANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
>Click....
> (sounds of reloading)
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
>..
>
> Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
>Tips
> or Hollow Points?"
>
> Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"
>
> Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist."
>

 

[ntw0rk]

LMAO!!!!

That's about right!!!


I don't care if he was a terrorist or not, come running at me wielding a knife, and it's gonna sound like the redneck version!!:rock: (Now, where can I buy a gun?!)

 

[nycstev]

I have changed my political party to REDNECK

 

[Annu Kumar]

right On:rock: Where I work There all Democrats And Communist. I am the Only Republican. I hate Democrats So Much:rock:

 

[Begood]

One can never have too many firearms, or too much ammo!

Bill.

 

[Django]

Nice.............

Always carry a backup, too.........

Annu, It's rather disturbing to hear you say that you hate Democrats....

Unless, that is, yer speaking of Democrat politicians....

D

 

[Annu Kumar]

D I Am A business Man. And the Democrats always want to steal from us. They want everything for free. They don't promote a Capitalistic Economy at all. This Country is built On Captilasim:rock:

 

[Brat]

D I Am A business Man. And the Democrats always want to steal from us. They want everything for free. They don't promote a Capitalistic Economy at all. This Country is built On Captilasim:rock:

could not agree with you more Annu.:rock: :rock: :rock: :rock: :rock: :rock:

 

[Brat]

One can never have too many firearms, or too much ammo!

Bill.

got that right Bill.:rock: :rock: :rock: :rock: :rock:

 

[ViperJeff]

The aftermath......

Democrat's blame the White House for providing faulty info

Committee is created to discover why a Redneck was allowed to have a gun in the first place

Family of man was awarded millions by the government because he died of his injuries before the bomb strapped to his chest exploded

Redneck is under investigation for displaying the American flag at his home. This may have inspired him to attack?

Reebok received a 2 million dollar fine

Laws have been passed to prevent the illegal use of firearms. Guns cannot be thrown in the direction of people, the gun may accidentally discharge. Guns may be held from the barrel and used as a defense from attackers. This prevents the attacker from getting shot and preserving there constitutional rights.

OSHA has stepped in and put in additional safeguards to prevent self protection.

Constitutional changes have been made that only allows criminal to buy bullets. This will safeguard all children.

Target is now putting there brand logo on all clothes to help in the accuracy of shootings.

911 is now an information line and no longer available for those that need help

New taxes have been added to the employed of the United States of America. The 33% rise in taxes will go to anyone who would like to start a life of crime. It is important that criminals all start out with and use the correct tools for the job

Democrats are re-elected

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Republican is sentenced to 20 years in prison for denying the right of the criminal due process under the law.

Sentence is pardoned by the White House

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Redneck has to disappear into the woods.

Rednecks are accused by the hundreds of hate crimes by Al Sharpton

Al-Qaeda files a lawsuit in Federal Court against Winchester and wins. Al-Qaeda now makes their own bullets.

Daughter is put in Foster care and has a baby in 9 months

Son is in Juvenile detention for aiding a abetting a criminal act and is facing being tried as an adult at the age of 11

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taxidermist move to Mexico and now stuffs Blue Marlins

 

[Django]

D I Am A business Man. And the Democrats always want to steal from us. They want everything for free. They don't promote a Capitalistic Economy at all. This Country is built On Captilasim:rock:

Being a businessman is fine. Disliking the policies of liberal Democrats is fine. Capitalism (however u spell it) is fine......

But stating that you hate people ("Democrats") does no one any good.

Yer throwing a net over about 150 million American people and saying, "I hate YOU".......... I strongly advise against specific hatred towards people as opposed to strongly disagreeing with their politics.....

The only thing that hating people serves to do is (to) poison your own soul...

Namaste'

D

 

[Wifey]

Ya, and it was the Republicans that gave those Bastards the firearms

Can you say Iran Contra Scandle????????????/

People like Regan, the I don,t recall ,TRAITOR and his Right Hand Benidict Arnold POS Oly North the president's Beotch !!!!!!!!

The Republicans Lie, Cheat, And Steal from the American people to further their own Bank Accounts and that of the Super Rich.

So do the Democrats, only they sell us out by giving all the foreigners a free pass, grants that do not have to be paid back, and advocating such things as The Amnesty for Illegalls.

That is right, get a temporary Visa and don't leave, we will give you amnesty,
and the Republicans will give you a job that pays near nothing, then Laugh all the way to the Bank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Face it they are all politicians, and they are mostly All Corrupt

I say give them the Redneck treatment, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang,

Jerry...................

 

[Silverback]

Ya, and it was the Republicans that gave those Bastards the firearms

Can you say Iran Contra Scandle????????????/

People like Regan, the I don,t recall ,TRAITOR and his Right Hand Benidict Arnold POS Oly North the president's Beotch !!!!!!!!

The Republicans Lie, Cheat, And Steal from the American people to further their own Bank Accounts and that of the Super Rich.

So do the Democrats, only they sell us out by giving all the foreigners a free pass, grants that do not have to be paid back, and advocating such things as The Amnesty for Illegalls.

That is right, get a temporary Visa and don't leave, we will give you amnesty,
and the Republicans will give you a job that pays near nothing, then Laugh all the way to the Bank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Face it they are all politicians, and they are mostly All Corrupt

I say give them the Redneck treatment, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang,

Jerry...................

I agree, most politicians are in it for the money and to feed their over inflated egos. All of them are the same. Some lube you up first, and others just have at you, but the end result is the same.

 

[Annu Kumar]

Being a businessman is fine. Disliking the policies of liberal Democrats is fine. Capitalism (however u spell it) is fine......

But stating that you hate people ("Democrats") does no one any good.

Yer throwing a net over about 150 million American people and saying, "I hate YOU".......... I strongly advise against specific hatred towards people as opposed to strongly disagreeing with their politics.....

The only thing that hating people serves to do is (to) poison your own soul...

Namaste'

D

I Guess your right D:rock: Love Everyone even The gruesome Murderers:rock:

 

[Silverback]

I Guess your right D:rock: Love Everyone even The gruesome Murderers:rock:

Sorry Annu, sometimes your attitude is a little harsh. That's why there are problems in the world. Some hate others just because of what they are, not who they are.

To me everyone is the same until you screw me over. Do that and regardless of your race, religion, or anything else, you are on my shit list.

 

[Annu Kumar]

Silver Brother. I already got screwd over by my family:dontknow: Took me for 200 K. Sorry I didn't mean to be Harsh but when Somebody takes 200k away from you You got to feel a little pissed off

 

[Wifey]

Silver Brother. I already got screwd over by my family:dontknow: Took me for 200 K. Sorry I didn't mean to be Harsh but when Somebody takes 200k away from you You got to feel a little pissed off

Are they the Democrats you hate??? :dontknow: :dontknow:

 

[Annu Kumar]

Their Communist and Pro Socialist. They act all Nice and Screw People over

 

[Wifey]

Oh, I know lots of people who do that - some even go to Church on Sunday

 

[ViperJeff]

Oh, I know lots of people who do that - some even go to Church on Sunday

Yea, My business got scuttled by a temple card carring Mormon... Go Figure