vpr hler
Full Access Member
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I'm going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed.But I want to save a few good people and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark". And in a flash of lighting HE delivered the specifications for the Ark. "And six months passed the skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard weaping and there was no Ark. " Noah", shouted the Lord"where is My Ark"? " Lord ,please forgive me . I did my best but there were big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark and your plans did not meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system. My neighbors objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building an Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city commission. I had a big problem getting wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince US Fish and Wildlife that I needed wood to save the owls. But they wouldn't let me catch any owls. Then the carpenters formed a union and went on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labour Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now we have 16 carpenters and still no owls.Then I started gathering up animals and got sued by the animal rights group.Then EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing and environmental impact statement on Your proposed flood. Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the flood plain. I sent them the globe. Right now I am still trying to resolve a complaint from the Egual Employment Opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I am supposed to hire,the IRS has seized all my assets claiming I am trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country. I really dodn't think I can finish your Ark for at least another 5 years,". The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. " You mean you are not going to destroy the earth?" "No," said the Lord, " Government already has."
Always makes my day when I re re-read this.
Always makes my day when I re re-read this.
