Words of Wisdom

[OCBob]

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. - Like this: It could be a right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. ]

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! )

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!!

Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, dont mind. And the one's that mind, don't matter.

 

[OCBob]

A Few More

t don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Don’t squat with your spurs on.

Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

Shirts that cost more than a weeks worth of groceries are like horseshoes that cost more than a horse

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back.

Whoever said a horse was dumb, was dumb

When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.

If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.

The cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man or take unfair advantage.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.

Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s critical to know what it was.

 

[OCBob]

Some for the drinkers

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I drink to forget I drink.

I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn’t hold water.

The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

The whole world is about three drinks behind.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

 

[OCBob]

And Finally

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Patience is not a virtue, it is a waste of time.

A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.

Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.

Pressure makes diamonds.

Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with the truth.

There is only one success-to be able to spend your life in your own way.

 

[Roz]

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I drink to forget I drink.

I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn’t hold water.

The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

The whole world is about three drinks behind.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

:congrats: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats:

 

[GriffsSRT]

Awsome post!!

 

[BurntRubber]

Ben Franklin - "He is richest who lives below his means."

 

[Django]

Fun post, Bobby.....

D

 

[TheSickness]

:congrats: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats: :congrats: Good Post Bikerscum :rock: