Wife wanting a divorce while I'm deployed

ViperJeff said:

Guys, it's pretty much different for everyone. Knew my bride for 8 months before we got married, been married to her for 33 years... and that included year long military deployments, TDY,s and all the BS

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good for you , but thats 33 years ago , woman are not the same anymore these days...
33 years ago , a woman need a man , now they think that men need woman.

lots of men are too soft , and woman take advantage of that.

a real man comes home with hunger , not with flowers...

Wildman

Just remember.... The lord won't take anything away from you that he doesn't replace with something better.

He certainly did when my fiance left me several years ago.

Wade

@ repoman i bet you were mad she wasted the soda you would have drank it lol

Yup same here after 8 years and a beautiful 5 yr old daughter. Still don't know why after 2 years!! I don't care anymore and moved on. So happens I met up with a crush from school daze after 25 years, attended our 20 year reunion together, and have been pretty happy since.
Many of you nailed it in the head! Take what you learned and move on. :vroam:

Take this from an old man who knows,As soon as you kiss the lipped of another women you'll forget all about her !:rock:

Sorry man, sucks to hear. Girl I work with just did this to her husband. Was telling all of her friends for about 6 or 7 months once he got deployed she was filing, he deployed about a month ago and she filed this week without saying a word to him.

Unfortunately you see this stuff all the time. A girl sees camo and a paycheck, marries for the piece of the pie, and when she's done she leaves.

It's just so fucked up how the court system works

Man, I hope whatever happens that you are happy. I knew my wife a few weeks, began dating, dated a month and got engaged. Got married about a year and a half later when I finished college. Been together 8 years. We have had our rough times, but it all gets sweeter when the dust clears lol. I know several military couples who have went thru way worse and worked it out and wouldn't have had it another way. They claim it strengthened the bond....idk. Good luck buddy. Just don't her take the 10 or she's dead

I have head this story so many time man.. Usually after the husband has paid for expensive things ie, jewelry, cars, breast, College Degrees, vacations, ect and usually within a month of the persion returing home.
Sorry for the BS, there should be a law against it all. Good luck on your split

mccubbinsjl said:

I have head this story so many time man.. Usually after the husband has paid for expensive things ie, jewelry, cars, breast, College Degrees, vacations, ect and usually within a month of the persion returing home.
Sorry for the BS, there should be a law against it all. Good luck on your split

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Totally off the subject but are you out of Pasedena CA?

Hey guys, sorry for the overdue reply, been busy over here. So to answer a broad range of thoughs and questions you've all had.

1)We met almost 2 years ago, went on 2 dates, nothing came of it. 3 months later we got back in touch and dated for about 5 weeks, split up. I needed to work on some things in my own life, was partying too much, living it up too much to be settled down. Took some time to find what I really wanted and it was her. We got back together last November, got engaged in March, married since June.

2)I am the initial cause of the "problems". Without giving too much detail, basically she is shy about texting pictures/sexting. Due to military, we've been apart numerous times. In person, she's very sexual, but over the phone, not so much. I got mad one night just before the deployment and ended up going on a dating site to find someone to chat with since my wife wouldn't do it over the phone. Long story short, she caught me and I admitted. I'm not going to pretend I'm completely innocent in all of this.

3)She is very needy. Her dad cheated on her mom when she was young, she very much needs attention. She's always had more guy friends than girl friends.

4)Despite what I did and admitting it and being remorseful and doing everything I can to make things right, I think the distance is the overarching issue. Also, I got word while I'm over here that I'll likely deploy again summer of 2014. She didn't take it well, at all.

5)CarolinaSRT10- I appreciate the advice, all good words. The chaplain in my battalion helped me out a lot during all of this, gave me a lot of encouragement that helped my confidence that no matter what happens with this situation I'll be ok.

6)I am 27, she is 22. I've been in the Army since I was 17, been enlisted and now an officer. On my third deployment. Have my degree. Have lived overseas in addition to the deployments. Basically, been there, done that, have a lot of life experience and time away from family/friends. She does not.

Thanks everyone for your comments and opinions. I tend to agree with most everyone's thoughts. Thanks for the support.

I also just asked her flat out if she's seeing someone else or if she has found someone else. She said no and that our problems are because of what is going on between us. I do believe her and the entiretime we've known each other I've never doubted her.

I hope everything works out for you two.

You have good brothers here you can always talk to.

Lee

Thanks Lee. Speaking of brothers, mine lives in Chapel Hill. I'm long overdue to see my nieces and nephew, so not sure how far you are from there but I will drive my 10 if I go when I get back from the deployment.

I'm about three hours away from Chapel Hill.

Hit me up before you come, and we'll see how the schedule is.

Merry Christmas!

Lee

im new on here, but im sorry to hear that man. i got my next deployment in december 2013. and i always have that thought in my head being that my wife hasnt been with me during a deployment. hope everything works out for you. thanks for your service

Thanks man and good luck to you too.

NSDQ said:

I am the initial cause of the "problems". I violated her trust (paraphrasing for you).

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It doesn't sound like it has to be over. Sounds like you need to regain / earn her trust. This is something that is NOT easy (take it from someone who has made larger mistakes than probably anyone else on this forum). But, it is worth it. Marriage is worth fighting for. It would be different if she had found someone else, but she hasn't. She is simply home alone and having trouble living with the fact that you are somewhere else doing who knows what. PM sent.

caveman said:

It doesn't sound like it has to be over. Sounds like you need to regain / earn her trust. This is something that is NOT easy. But, it is worth it. Marriage is worth fighting for. It would be different if she had found someone else, but she hasn't. She is simply home alone and having trouble living with the fact that you are somewhere else doing who knows what.

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I completely agree with everything here. Divorce has become too easy for everyone and in my opinion it's a cop out from doing the hard work necessary to make your marriage work. I am still very young in my marriage (7 months) we have been together going on 7 years. Fight for her if you want to make it work but be warned it won't be easy, but it will be rewarding if you can succeed. I wish you the best of luck and hope it all works out for you in the end.

Sorry to hear this