Some of you may have noticed that my presence has been very scarce over the last year, but I have always had many of you in my thoughts and heart. :love:
The last few months have been very draining for me, and I have stayed away from the site as much as possible, because I was not ready to face the question if asked “How are you doing?†I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!
Last year I started having major issues with my health, and I started noticing that whenever I came to the site that was what I talked about the most. I didn’t want to burden everyone / anyone with my issues.
I went through a hysterectomy shortly after getting married to a wonderful man. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with emotionally and mentally. Billy has been my rock to help me through that time.
Well now, I’m going through a few more issues that are putting a toll on my mind.
I’ve had an issue with my right eye for several years, but in the last 4 months or so it has progressively gotten much worse. There have been a few moments where I’ve experienced temporary blindness in my right eye. I’ve seen 3 doctors so far; each one becoming more and more specialized with still no definite answers. The CT scan did not show anything. The last doctor was a retina specialist took pictures on both eyes and it was finally determined that something is wrong. There’s something that is preventing blow flood to and from my eye which is enlarging the blood vessels in it. The only thing they cannot determine is what is causing it. I have an appointment with an ophthalmologist neurologist which will be able to read my MRI that I have to schedule and figure out (hopefully) what is preventing the blood flow. The retina specialist has explained to me that it could be anything as simple as something a small blockage or something as severe as a tumor (or what they call in medical terms – a space occupier). I was told that at this point there is no guarantee that I could not still go blind in my right eye. The possible answer is on hold until January when I can get in to see the next doctor / specialist.
On top of that, I had what I thought would be a routine mammogram. I found out Tuesday that they found a mass in my right breast. They ordered me to go back in for more testing. Unfortunately, the technicians are not allowed to tell me anything they may see whether it is good or bad. The results have to come from a physician. I have been instructed by my ob / gyn to set up an appointment with a surgeon - which is scheduled December 9th.
So until December 9th, and then again in January, I wait and wonder the outcome will be.
I’m scared. I’m worried. But I know that I have a strong support team with my wonderful husband and the wonderful people from this site that I am blessed to call my friends.
I know many not have shared as much as I have, but I am the type of person that is always open with what is happening in my life. Also, this helps me with address the thoughts that are going through my mind.