Wish me Luck

[thjones3]

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. We might not know it now but later in life you will be able to look back and see where the path was meant to go. So dont focus on the negative just learn from it, make a decision to better your self and you daughters lives with whatever the outcome might be. I know you are a good man but only you & God know your heart. Find peace in knowing you are the better man and live each day as if it your last! Prayers for you and your family!

x2

It all works out in the end. Just do the best you can and get on with life. Best of luck bro!

 

[Venom Power]

I'm terribly

to see this happen Steve. Yesterday when you sent me the text with the news I was up to my ears in fence material trying to beat the sunset. As I said in my reply (with no disrespect to Wifey) this is a woman's world. I believe that is chiefly due to the many years of domestic disputes and frequent "falling down the stairs" causing black eyes. We can also thank Warren Moon for that. But still I know what you're going through.

When it was determined 5 years ago by a majorly biased family court judge that my daughter is to remain in her mother's custody (although I KNEW she could never take care of her)

I was crushed. But as my late grandmother said soon after that ordeal, "Leave the fight in God's hands, for it is His burden to bear." And you know what? That is so true. I stepped back from the situation but continued being the best father to Angelica I could be with God's guidence. And today we are closer than she and her mother could ever be. In fact, and I know this sounds bad, but if her mother were to drop off the face of the earth Angelica wouldn't miss her. I suggest you make every time spent with your daughter a special one. Your ex cannot take the bond between you and your daughter away. When she grows up knowing her daddy was there for her no matter what and all you've endured for her, that's when you will say

.....

As was mentioned, you have so many of us to talk to when you need us.. You KNOW you can always reach me bro.

 

[Scooby82882]

:congrats: Well spoken Venom Power, I couldn't think of anything else that would really bring a point across like that :congrats:

That being said sorry things didn't work out for you. The most important thing is to keep you head up, don't dwell on the past, just keep moving forward.

 

[Borden's SRT]

I'm terribly

to see this happen Steve. Yesterday when you sent me the text with the news I was up to my ears in fence material trying to beat the sunset. As I said in my reply (with no disrespect to Wifey) this is a woman's world. I believe that is chiefly due to the many years of domestic disputes and frequent "falling down the stairs" causing black eyes. We can also thank Warren Moon for that. But still I know what you're going through.

When it was determined 5 years ago by a majorly biased family court judge that my daughter is to remain in her mother's custody (although I KNEW she could never take care of her)

I was crushed. But as my late grandmother said soon after that ordeal, "Leave the fight in God's hands, for it is His burden to bear." And you know what? That is so true. I stepped back from the situation but continued being the best father to Angelica I could be with God's guidence. And today we are closer than she and her mother could ever be. In fact, and I know this sounds bad, but if her mother were to drop off the face of the earth Angelica wouldn't miss her. I suggest you make every time spent with your daughter a special one. Your ex cannot take the bond between you and your daughter away. When she grows up knowing her daddy was there for her no matter what and all you've endured for her, that's when you will say

.....

As was mentioned, you have so many of us to talk to when you need us.. You KNOW you can always reach me bro.

Very true and I know it. Her mom let her down in a small way again last night, and all these will come together in the end and reinforce what I have with Taylor. If everything keeps building between us I am sure when she is 14 she just might say she wants to live with me. she'll be older and wanting to know how to drive and such which may bring us that much closer. I am sort of ok, I did get more visitation than they were offering. I pushed the buttons till there was no more. I actually over doubled the amount of time they offered with Taylor being able to call me up for dinner if she wants. Right now it's just trying to get thru the initial transition of moving and such.

Thanks for ALL the support. It truely does help.

 

[FATJACK]

We love you, ya big Bastige!!!

 

[SrtBrad]

Sending in some more luck to you.

 

[VIPR PWR]

Good luck Steve ---hope it turns out good...Just remember the kids are the ones that matter the most in this type of situation ...Don't let them be put in the middle....

 

[labontecsi]

Steve, I agree with Antnee. Your penis put you at a disadvantage before you ever got into the courtroom. The family courts are now and always will be designed to protect mothers, whether they're good mothers or not is irrelevent. My ex had a representative from DHS help her get custody and child support. When I found out I had been paying for daycare(that my daughter wasn't in) for 2 years, they told me to get a lawyer, they can't help me-and I wouldn't be entitled to any of the money my ex took fraudulently.
Get and keep good lawyer, listen and follow their advice, and remember that someday, your daughter will understand what really happened. At that point, you get the satisfaction of knowing you were right.

 

[Prof]

Work for synergy Steve...now is the time to think with your head, not your heart...make the best of what you have...focus on making Taylor the best adjusted child you can have...and set your ego and emotions aside...ten years from now everyone will be saying..."you were so wise...".

 

[TheSickness]

Love ya Bro :rock: :rock:

 

[Borden's SRT]

It will get better I know and believe. Trust me all your advice has been used for this whole ordeal. Right now I am looking at rooming up with a guy from work in a divorce too and could use some financial help, so he is going to let me know if rooming together would be good for him. I only need a couple months and he is right in the middle of his divorce so it could work out. His place is right across from Taylor's school and he is a neat and clean freak like myself and is a representable person for Taylor to be around during my weekends. we will see by next week tho.

 

[Marc T]

Steve,

Gotta throw a liitle humor in here, laughter is great therapy!!



Hang tuff Steve, I have been there, it will get better!!
Focus on your little one, she will always bring joy to your life!!

Marc T

 

[Venom Power]

If everything keeps building between us I am sure when she is 14 she just might say she wants to live with me.

:dontknow: If?!?!?!?!? No Steve, your attitude should reflect thoughts like "WHEN/AS everything keeps building between us, etc.."

The way I got through it was to think to myself that Angelica is my reason for being here (and VTCoA too, but that's another story).. Whatever her mother tried to throw at me I would let it roll off my back. It even got to where I had to use a psychological approach when her mother tried to use the lasting bond between Angelica and daddy against me. Mothers tend to use the kids as either a paycheck or a weapon. So I found that by showing I don't care at times (although it tears me up) I stick to my guns until her mother realizes her feable attempts are a lost cause. So she gives in eventually. Besides, like I said before, she can't take care of Angelica for very long. And Angelica drives her crazy so she ends up with me when it's all said and done. As for the day when she declares she wants to live with daddy, that is without a doubt inevitable.

I don't mean to preach my story. I just want you to hang in there and live your life without feeling held hostage. No matter WHAT you are Taylor's daddy and will never be otherwise. Now go, have fun, be merry and most of all BE DADDY!!

 

[Ironhead]

i went through 15 years of the same thing dudes make sure you stick to the high road ,,i had an ex that thought she was hollyier than thou and every thing me and my son did was bad mouthed and made to look like i was always trying to cause shit ,,,when he hit 14 and 15 and started to see the real picture for himself things changed so fast i almost dont remember the hard times now,and the lonely times on holidays ,,now my son and my grand daughter spend all thier time with me and almost nothing with his mom ,,,i had to learn with great difficulty mind you to never ever talk bad about the ex spouse ,,,as she did nothing but bad mouth me ,,they think they are furthering thier cause but trust me kids grow up faster and smarter than we all think ,,never try to talk them into telling the other they want to come live with you and so on ,,trust me it will backfire on you bad ,,,just try to stay positive and be the one that is fun to be with ,,when you cant be with them
call as much as they will let you ,,,show up for all school activitys and so on ,,YOU WILL PREVAIL IF YOU KEEP THIS IN MIND ,i did and so can you guys :congrats:

 

[Venom Power]

James' experience gives testiment to what I am saying. What the mothers don't realize is that the kids grow up mad at them for making them remain where they didn't want to all those years. But the ex's usually don't think that way. They live for the here and now and it all comes crashing down when the child grows up and realizes what has been happening all along. Time is on your side Steve... You will be the one to prevail from all of this.

 

[Ironhead]

thanks ant ,,just remember steve the first holidays you have to spend away from him will be the worst thing you ever been through ,,hell there was a time i wanted to jump off a bidge on a holiday i had to spend alone ,and damn nere did it,but you will get through this to a better day ,,, they want you to sqrim dont you give her the satifaction of it damn it ,,,hell if need be come my my house we will watch some football and pound some beer

 

[Borden's SRT]

I under stand exactly what you guys are saying. My bond with my daughter will grow. I think the realization will hit her once I actually move out and we no longer do anything as a family. I understand the holidays too. Right now the ex is wanting to stand firm with visitation rules. i am sure that will change once SHE needs to be alone on a different weekend. Kristen will figure it out quickly that it is going to suck(her mentality) doing everything by herself now.

Trust me I go to all Taylor's functions as she is an amazing young lady. Her school, karate, and i take care of her friends too.

Just getting finances straight over the next couple months may be a little tricky, but for now i believe i am going to make her buy my share of the equitity out of the house and i will buy hers. i will not let her sit in it forever while the house is on the market and have to pay for half the mortgage. just got to protect myself. i'd rather refinance it, buy her out , then i will sell it myself. i dont need this big of a house anymore, but it will make for a great bachelor pad for now. plus i would be a motivated seller.

Thanks guys.

 

[Prof]

Just one more point Steve. Do everything you can to avoid making it a contest for Taylor's love. Regardless of the situation between the adults, competition for the love of a child can be harmful...Taylor should grow up loving both parents and learning that both have her best interests as their priority. No one parent should seek to be more "loved" than the other. We have children to love, we do not have children to have some one love us...

Nose the the grind stone...brains before ego and emotion.

 

[Marc T]

Just one more point Steve. Do everything you can to avoid making it a contest for Taylor's love. Regardless of the situation between the adults, competition for the love of a child can be harmful...Taylor should grow up loving both parents and learning that both have her best interests as their priority. No one parent should seek to be more "loved" than the other. We have children to love, we do not have children to have some one love us...

Nose the the grind stone...brains before ego and emotion.

Well said Roy!!:congrats:

 

[Borden's SRT]

Just one more point Steve. Do everything you can to avoid making it a contest for Taylor's love. Regardless of the situation between the adults, competition for the love of a child can be harmful...Taylor should grow up loving both parents and learning that both have her best interests as their priority. No one parent should seek to be more "loved" than the other. We have children to love, we do not have children to have some one love us...

Nose the the grind stone...brains before ego and emotion.

I know what you are saying Roy. I have been very good at avoiding the contest issues. I still treat Taylor the same as before. I discipline the same too. However the class I have been taking has taught me a lot and once I am on my own when Taylor visits I can use it. Kristen is flooding her with gifts and I cant say that I haven't bought her a little extra, but I keep it at a minimum. Most of mine have been tied to specific memories like our little Seaworld trip. Taylor has noticed the extra gifts and has questioned it too. I told her that it is hard to explain and understand at her age, why it happens. She is a very smart girl and she will figure it out without me bad mouthing her mom. That is something I wont do. I will be the bigger person as always, and I do believe the pay off will be huge down the road with all the support I give Taylor. You all have keep important things in light and in the back of my mind for future use.

I love you all for your support and advice!!!